Monday, February 18, 2013

patience, and cabin fever.

one lesson i will take to the grave.. patience. i have had many other opportunities in my life to learn patience like being a step mother, working with the public in customer service, and being a supervisor for a large chain store. but this... this is something all of it's own. living in a community has many benefits, being more cost effective is pretty high on the list, but it also comes with sacrifice.

the temperature outside is currently well below zero, it's late morning and the guy i share my room with just went to bed. there's two people in the kitchen, one in the shower, and the laundry machine has a line up. typical for a stat winter holiday, everyone is home and it's cold outside. so i sit at my computer and wait my turn for whichever becomes free next.

when i first stumbled into the community lifestyle, i didn't have nearly as much patience as i do today. i was stubborn, and if i didn't get my way i'd sooner leave than try to think of a solution. even when i moved in here, i was constantly on the lookout for another place, something i could afford alone or with one other person. i didn't see myself living this way again as i never seem to plan for it, and when i do try to plan for it, it doesn't seem to work. so from now on i just go with the flow, and see what happens.

anyhoo.. patience. i seem to have grown some. living with a bunch of people isn't for everyone, it definitely requires a particular mind state. here in north america we are so conditioned to believe that we need so many things to live a proper life, and a bunch of space to keep them in. we're so used to being individually packaged in our very own little boxes, kind of together but really separate from everyone and the world around us.

for a while it was bothering me that i had to share my room. this certainly isn't the first time, for whatever reason i can't go anywhere without a crowd. anyways, i was starting to get really annoyed with my roommate and pushing him to start looking for his own place. i was irritated that i couldn't have some time to myself before bed, some quiet time by lamplight to read and unwind. i was bothered that all of the space in our room was taken up by two giant beds, and we didn't have any space to just exist and relax besides the always crowded family room.

one day we got in an argument. we don't usually fight, so it was an eye opener. we realized that we were arguing about things that we had the power to change, we just had to communicate our concerns so that we could come to a compromise. space was a big deal for both of us. the first change we made was to the arrangement of our bedroom furniture.

we work and sleep opposite shifts, but we're both always home for supper time. since we sleep at different times of the day, we decided to put one of the beds against the wall and share the one. this gave us more space to use for hanging out when we're not in bed, and somewhere for me to excercise when it's too cold to do it outside. also if we have company and the livingroom is too crowded, we now have space to seat our company in our room. it's kind of our way of coping with cabin fever, making ourselves someplace to be when it's minus a million degrees out.

as for privacy and alone time, he has it pretty good and didn't have much of a complaint. most days he works afternoons or nights, and sleeps in the early day, which is when i'm at work. we made a comprimise that when it's almost time for me to go to bed, i get some alone time in the room to relax and simmer down. for the most part he'll hang out downstairs until i get up at five for work, and then he will take his turn with the sleep space.

problem solved..! for now. well you know.. as solved as it can be. i feel a lot better about sharing the space than i did before. and as it turns out, it sounds like party one is done down in the kitchen, so it's my turn to make something to eat. woohoo! lunch!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Rest in Peace White House [on the Corner]

clearly i didn't make much of this page in the past year as i had planned to, but we also didn't make much of the community. due to conflict within the community and the criticizm against it, all public posts regarding our lifestyle was halted and this page was taken down. unfortunately the conflict was on a very personal level that involved trust. and needless to say, trust is very valuable and absolutely crucial when it comes to a community lifestyle, or any relationship that one would expect to function properly.

that being said. many lessons were learned through the trials of community lifestyle, and though temporary i have stumbled into it once again. however this time, it works a lot better. the community here is smaller, five 'permanent' residents [2 female, 3 male] between the ages of 21 and 50, and a small dog. we have 2 or 3 community members that spend a lot of time here and contribute, but do not permanently reside here, and many more who come through on a weekly basis.

myself and the youngest resident are the only two that carried over to this place from the White House, i was one of the founders, and he came along near the end as a chronic couch surfer. i didn't know him before he appeared at the house, but in the months he stuck around he proved himself trustworthy. in the final moments of the White House, i decided i would take him with me until he can find a place to stay. we share the master room dorm style. it's taken a few months to get used to, but now that we have our schedules worked out, we are comfortable with our varying sleep patterns and work schedules, so we know when is best to sleep, and when we get the space to ourselves.

this setup was only meant to be a month or three, and we have found ourselves together still 6 months later. it will likely be another few months before anything changes, so in the meantime there's still much to learn. since i'm trying to get back on the blog kick, i think i'll jump back on this page and write about experiences and lessons learned from the previous house, systems that seem to work at this one, and possible plans for later in the future. things like meals [again], finances, and getting the best use out of the available space.

besides living like a hippy i've been keeping myself busy working fulltime as a warehouse supervisor/resident hippy for a major chain, using the money i make doing that and investing it into other projects such as gardening permaculture style, and helping others learn how to do the same. also attempting to regain my health after a couple years of sickness and depression, and i'm keeping track of that journey on yet another blog entitled The Sage Thrive Challenge. that's all i got for now folks.. thanks for reading! i WILL return...